Having been a licensed therapist and social worker for over ten years now, I have been privileged to help a countless number of people through the cycle of grief and coming to that stage of acceptance. How funny it is that now when I find myself in that position, I can't seem to find that same resolution. Here I have all this knowledge and training and yet, none if it seems to help or apply.
Currently, I am in the anger phase, and am truly struggling to get past it. I can't even watch the news or read the paper anymore. It seems like every day there is another story about a dead child at the hand of their parents. Not to mention the fact that I am surrounded by women who are either currently pregnant or just had children, when they can't handle the ones they already have. (Which I know about because we go to the same church and they come to me for "free therapy" or help with their children.) I just truly don't understand the injustice of it all. Why some really great people who would be great parents can't, and others who are monsters pop out children at record speed only to hurt or kill them.
I guess I would feel differently if it was our choice, but to have that choice taken away from you without any say . . .Words can't describe it. This is especially when you belong to a religion that teaches that having children is one of your main functions in life. It just doesn't seem to make sense and is one of those big questions that no one on this earth can answer.
As I begin this journey trying to come to terms with it all and figuring what my place or purpose is, I am finding that there are a lot of unknowns right now. So dear reader, please be patient with me as I begin on this new journey. It is going to be bumpy, at best, but hopefully with a good outcome that we can all live with.
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