Thursday, January 29, 2009

Just Breath

Tax time causes me major anxiety, especially after we were dinged so badly last year. So when our W-2s show up, I immediately do an estimated tax return to see what kind of result there could be to prepare myself. It looks as if we are actually going to get a refund this year and I can finally breath! We can now pay off one of our major bills and a huge chunk of another!

YEAH!

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Grey Day

Today is a grey day!
A grey day is a day when I hear/read stories about children killed by ill-equipped adults who should have never had children, when there are so many capable and loving people who would have willingly taken that child into their arms and raised them as their own.
A grey day is when a well-meaning mother of four tries to tell me she understands how I feel and what I am going through, when I want to reply with me shouting, "How can you possible understand when you have four children to hold and I have none and may never?"
A grey day is when I try to understand Heavenly Father's greater design as to why he would let his "precious little ones" go to such bad people when others who would cherish these little souls are denied.
A grey day is when I begin to wonder if choices and events of my past have come back to haunt me once again.
A grey day is when I wonder if the drugs, tests, money spent are really worth it, if the result is the same every time.
A grey day is when I hear a pregnant woman complain about their pre-natal child and how much they are missing out because they are pregnant or that they did not want to have this child.
A grey day is when I have to put a smile on my face and act as if nothing is wrong, when inside my heart is breaking.
A grey day is when a negative test happens once again.
A grey day is when the first question out of outsider's mouth is "Are you pregnant yet?" (Like I have any control.)
A grey day is when a pity-party is allowed, because everything all hits at once.
It's just a plain, grey day. They're allowed. Tomorrow will be yellow, green, or blue.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Today we set a record of -29 degrees! Should I be proud or cry?

Monday, January 26, 2009

Release the Beast!

One of the memorable moments that I had with one of the kids I have worked with over the years in juvenile corrections was when a teenage girl told me that she would give anything to have her father give her a curfew. I was shocked when she said this, since most kids put up a great fight regarding curfews. So I inquired of her to give a further explanation. She explained that her father giving her a curfew would mean that he actually cared about her and wanted her to be safe. I have never forgotten that moment.

Today my dear husband had a similar lesson. Last night his daughter called his phone and since it was on vibrate in the kitchen, we did not hear the phone. Consequently, she left a nastygram phone message and demanded a phone call back. As you can imagine he was hesitant to return the call this morning because he did not want to start the day off with a fight with an irrational teenager. So I suggested that he call shortly before she needed to leave for school so that the conversation be kept short. He called me later this morning to tell me that sure enough, she began yelling and carrying on. This time instead of taking it, like he usually does, he simply told her, "You need to check your attitude." To which she promptly hung up on him.

Of course, Jim was upset and frustrated but stood his ground and did not try to call her again, but instead insisted that she be polite. This afternoon she called again but this time was much more pleasant and didn't yell, ask for money or demand that we buy her something, which is the usual protocol that works with her mother and has in the past worked with him.

We know that she will try to release the snarly beast side of her again, but I am so proud of him for setting a boundary and sticking with it! And although she will never admit, deep down she is proud of him, too.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Better Thee Than Me!

How scared should you be when the Bishop extends you a calling and after you say yes he then states that the program is really a mess? This is what happened to Jim today. So when the Bishop turned to me and asked if I would be willing to support him in his calling, I cheerfully stated yes since it was not me. Poor guy.

Stay tuned for next week as to what the calling is, since he has not been sustained as of yet. But it's definitely not in the bishopric. Whew! They may be getting replaced on Feb. 15 so he is safe from that.

Friday, January 23, 2009

In Search of the Holy Grail

Yesterday, I had another one of my famous run-ins with the health care industry.

It began that I went over to one of the hospitals that my doctor recommended to get an estimate for the HSG test. (This was after four phone calls in two days with no answer and no return call.) I then had a girl tell me that I needed a code for the procedure so that she could look it up and that even when she does get the code it would take her 30 - 45 minutes to look it up for the costs. (You're kidding, right?) I explained to the pipsqueak that my doctor's office has told me that they had nothing to do with that procedure and they sent me to the hospital for this information. The pipsqueak then told me sorry but they did have the code and there was nothing she could do for me.

I then walked over to the doctor's office and talked to the clerk. She went back to the billing office and came back to tell me that they did not have a code for the procedure since they did not do that procedure in the office. I explained to her what the hospital had said and so she went back to the billing office and explained the situation. She came back with the code (hmmmmmm) for one of the tests and then told me that the hospital that I went to does not do that procedure only the other hospital (There are only 3 doctors in our area that does this procedure).

She then called that hospital to get the rest of the codes, and it was hilarious to see her feel my pain. She was transferred to wrong numbers, voice mails, and hung up on. After 10 minutes of trying to get the "holy grail" of codes, she finally called and demanded to speak tot he CEO of the hospital. (My kind of girl!) She informed this person of what she had been dealing with and all she needed was the "magic" code. Magically, the code was provided. She stated at the end of the phone call she felt like she had been searching for the "holy grail" and felt my pain.

I then went directly to EIRMC to get an estimate there and again was sent to three different departments before finally getting someone who knew what an HSG procedure was and could give me an estimate. Ha ha!! Success! (Or so I thought . . . . ) $750! (By this time 2 hours had passed.)

After talking to Jim and deciding we should go ahead, I then went back to the doctor's office to have them schedule the procedure. The receptionist had me talk to the nurse who said that they would schedule the procedure for the original hospital that my doctor had recommended. As politely as I could, I explained to her my problems that I had and that I had been told by the billing office that this hospital does not do this procedure. She came out to talk to me directly (poor thing) and I explained to her everything that had happened, and that all I wanted was an estimate to see if this is something we could choke up. She asked me to wait a minute and she would straighten this out. 20 minutes later she came out and . . . . . Surprise! The original hospital does do the procedure, with my doctor doing the actual procedure but another doctor reading the results, and she was even able to give me an estimate. Unfortunately, because there is only a 5 day window that this procedure can be performed and that window ended the next day (today) there was no way it could be scheduled this month and has to be for next month. (Ever tried to schedule a procedure a month down the road around a "cycle"?)

Just never a dull moment!

Lesson learned: Never underestimate the power of a nurse!

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

A Tongue Twister

Hysterosalpingogram
Now try to say that 10 times really fast.
(If you want to know what it is, you will have to google it.)

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Is There a Doctor In the House?

Well, Jim has been accepted to U of I's master's/doctoral program for nuclear engineering and his company has approved to help pay for his tuition and work with his school schedule. Luckily, there is a new program in Idaho Falls that is within a mile of his work so he won't have to travel to Pocatello.

So, there will eventually be another Dr. Jim Seamans in the family. Different disciplines, but still the legend lives on. For the next 5 years life will be determed by papers, tests, and studying, but so worth it in the end.

Dear Mr. President . . . . .

Dear Mr. President,

I wasn't one of those who cared if you were black, white, red, yellow, purple, or blue. I only cared that whomever became the next president was a good a man. A man who believed in the simple concept of integrity and stood behind what he said. This doesn't mean that I did or did not vote for you. The right I will keep to myself. However, the election and inaugeration is now over and it is time to give a new leader a chance to hopefully lead wisely.

I don't envy you and your new position. It didn't matter who was elected. That person faced a nation in crisis and despair, with a need for someone to have hope in or to blame for their misfortunes.

Lately, there has been so much discussion of you being the first African-American president. Even today as I watched your inauguration it was discussed several times in the speeches and prayers. Again, this is not what matters to me. What matters is that you are a good president. You look past color, race, ethnicity, religious beliefs, and sexual orientation. You just focus on what is best for our country.

There are so many people who have put you on such a high pedestal that I don't envy the pressure you must feel. Good luck, Mr. President. May God grant you the wisdom to know what is best for our nation and the humility to know you are not greater than Him.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Please Don't Take My Sunshine Away!!


As Jim has unfortunately found out, I have BAAAAAAAAAD cravings sometimes. These are the kind of cravings that you get and absolutely nothing will suffice except what you are craving, and until you fill that craving with the thing you crave you fixate on it. For me lately it has been lemon bars. Don't ask why. I don't know. Just know that I want one in the worst way and have so for almost a month. (And no, it is not due to me being pregnant, because I am NOT!)
Since I am forbidden of my secret pleasure of completely indulging in replacing a meal with complete sugary goodness, I decided I wanted just one bar. Just one lousy bar to satisfy my sweet tooth. I figured a bite a day would do, since that seems to be enough for me this past couple of months. (That way I get to have my "sweets" and don't get to pay homage to the porcelain god.)
So today after attending a session at the temple, I figured that I deserved to fulfill my craving and was on the hunt! Four stores and two bakeries later, I had no success! Sure I found lemon pound cake, lemon doughnuts, lemon pie, lemon meringue, lemon cookies, lemon muffins, lemon cake, lemonade, and everything but my one true desire and wish (or at least the one at that moment.) I finally in despair asked one of the baking ladies where are all of the lemon bars and she told me that they don't usually make them in the winter, only summer because the sales are better. This is when she tried to pacify me with all of the other "impostor" lemon treats, but they were not what I wanted. At this point I seriously considered laying on the ground kicking and screaming for a lemon bar, but wisely decided against it. Instead I whined to the lady about needing something reminding me of sunshine and summer due to the incessant grey clouds and cold. She laughed, but would not go back and make some. (How rude!) So alas! I still had not mastered my conquest.
Yes, I could have made a whole pan, but then it is that much harder for me to have control, so since my hunt was successful I went for the next best thing, an ooey, gooey, fudge frosted brownie. It's definitely not the same, but a girl can never have too much chocolate.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Back To Life and Reality

There is something to be said about "getting away from it all". Just taking a few moments to leave your troubles behind and just enjoy the moment and sunshine. But I am not sure how much of these moments can be appreciated without the reality of life also being something we face from time-to-time.

It was so nice to not worry about work, bills, snow, or ice, even if it was for only a week. The jet lag, however, has been worse than I thought. Experiencing 3 different time zones several times during a week can be more taxing than I thought. I am beginning to wonder if I am going to sleep my life away.

With the holidays over and winter still here, the only thing left for me to do is conquer the dreaded craft room. I know, I know, I said I was doing that last summer. However, after 5 minutes inside the room I get so frustrated and overwhelmed I usually walk right back out and tell myself I will deal with it tomorrow. Unfortunately, I no longer have excuses such as school, Christmas shopping or projects to complete. I don't even have a church calling to use. Of course, there is always family history to do, but alas it still doesn't change the inevitable. The room has to be done! So guess that is where my efforts will lie in the next couple of weeks. Cross your fingers and perhaps check on me every once and awhile to see if I am still breathing. The fabric may overtake me and smother me.

Oh well . . . . Back to life and reality.

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Today's Forecast

Here was the forecast on the Weather Channel:

Abundant Sunshine. High 11. Currently -10, with windchill -26.

Does anyone see a problem with this? Like the words "abundant sunshine" is supposed to make you feel better?

Then for tonight it said:

Bitterly Cold.

Ummmmmm. . . . .I think that should have gone with the day's forecast.