Why I Became a Therapist

I have been asked numerous times over the last couple of years as to why in the world I would become a therapist. While there are many reasons why, there is one main reason.

For whatever reason, my family moved A LOT when I was growing. No, we were not in the military. It just was what it was. Consequently, we were constantly having to make new friends and getting use to a new situation every couple of years. For someone like me who struggles with doing this anyway in the best of circumstances, it was actually torturous to have to do this so often. I know that I probably didn't handle some of these situations the best and remember all too well that at at least one new school I hid in the bathroom my first week during lunch rather then try and meet new people. However, there were times it was justified.

I was bullied in junior high and high school. No, not physically, but definitely verbally. I have not and probably never will forget walking into a math class to have the entire class chanting and banging their fists on their desks, "No AIDS in public school" (This was a nickname that a boy in my Sunday School class had given me. Nice, eh?) until the teacher came running into the classroom from the Principal's office. This was just one of many such cases.

And while I know that these were just kids, they were scary, sad, lonely, and frustrating times that have impacted me for a lifetime. I also know that for many of them if I were to ask them about it, they either would deny or truly wouldn't remember what happened. For them, it was not a life-altering moment. It was just another day. However, I hope that both they and I have moved forward in such a way that we not only do not repeat the behavior, but avoid passing it on to our own children or those we work with. No one deserves to be bullied, ABSOLUTELY NOBODY!

Thanks to a Patriarchal blessing and other wonderful people, moments, and learning I have tried to turn my times of difficulty into my strengths and hopefully help others. Hence, I became a child therapist to not only help those who are bullied, but do bully. In fact, interestingly enough, I really enjoy the "tough" kids the best. I have learned so much from them and have learned that often they are experiencing a lot of pain themselves and therefore, look for the "dog" to kick.

Some day I am hoping to finish the book that I have started and worked on and off regarding the great paradigm shift that can occur when we take the time to actually get to know another person before judging them. We may just find out that there is a reason why they are the way they are. (Not 100% fool-proof, but can happen more often than not). Just like in my senior year when one of my "bullies" wrote a poem about me in our writing class that said something to the effect that I was someone people wanted to get to know better, but they were afraid to due to the walls that I had built up. It took everything I had to not yell at her and tell her how mean she had been (i.e. Starting a rumor about me being pregnant because she thought it was funny since she knew I hadn't even kissed a boy at that point.) For me, I was incensed by her gestures and this stupid poem. What did she expect for a reaction? However looking back, I know that she probably didn't remember what she had done and truly could not understand why I did not want to be her friend.

As I watch the various news reports about bullying and the kids who have committed suicide over it, I have to say I am not surprised. The extent of bullying is soooooooooo much more than what I ever experienced. Kids today cannot get away from it by going home after school. It follows them online, their phones, etc. Plus people tend to say much meaner things when they do not have to face the person. (You wouldn't believe some of the things my fellow faculty members report that students say to them in emails and posts in the classroom.)

I loved a recent news story that encouraged parents to talk to their kids, not only to see if they are being bullied but to see if THEY are the bully. You just never know. While you would think it would be inherent, the concept of the Golden Rule is not taught as much in the home as it used to be.

Bottom line, this is why I became a therapist. I wanted to help others to learn from my experiences, either as a way to survive or a way not to do things. Also, I enjoy learning about people. They are fascinating creatures. Their stories of survival and overcoming the odds can be truly inspiring. You just never know what a listening ear can do for them and for you.

Temptation or Nirvana?

You decide?

(They sure were yummy, but many were given away!)

Christmas Traditions?

As we approach another Christmas season and our first one with Little Man where he will be somewhat aware of what is going on, my husband and I have been having discussions as to how we want to handle Christmas with our son. We have very different opinions.

We had extremely different experiences when it came to Christmas when we were growing up. His family was very much into "things" and still are. In fact, their Christmas consists of INSANE amounts of money spent on "stuff" that they are required to open one at a time with each person taking a turn until all the presents are opened. The entire ordeal takes at least 2 hours, sometimes longer depending upon the number of presents. It makes me crazy how "worldly" it all is and I usually provide not the nicest "wish lists" when we are asked. (i.e. I say things like, "I would like everyone to be nice to one another", or I will only list one thing. This drives my mother-in-law nuts and usually ends in an argument or the "silent treatment".) Why? It's a loooong story. Short version: A bunch of money spent doesn't make up for a year of not being nice.

For me, I would rather have Christmas be more about the "spirit" of Christmas and not "stuff". Don't get me wrong. I am not a complete Scrooge. I want Little Man to have some presents, but I do not want it to be an "insane" amount and I don't want him to think that Christmas is all about "what can I get" which is what we experience with my step-daughter each year. (Consequently, it usually ends up with tears, fighting, or arguing because not enough money is ever spent on her in her opinion.)

So while we try to come up with a happy compromise that is best for our family, what does your family do for Christmas? How do you keep it in balance with gifts and the "spirit" of Christmas?

I'm #1! I'm # 1!

According to a recent article about college "winner or loser" degrees based on salary, job security, employment perspective, etc, (http://education.yahoo.net/articles/degree_winners_and_losers.htm?wid=1), I am the number 1 loser! Not only did I get that degree once, but TWICE! Oh yeah, baby! Makes me so glad to pay those student loan payments each month. Anyone want to sponser a stay-at-home returning college student? According to these numbers, I can't even afford to eat let alone go back to school to get a "winning" degree.

And you teachers think you have it bad . . . hah!

Oh, The Fun I Could Have!

This is my new best friend!

Yep, after convincing from Jaylene and my husband I cringed, closed my eyes, and purchased a Silhouette SD when they were on sale. I have to say that I am truly in LOVE! In fact if you know anybody who wants to buy a personal Cricut, please let me know. I am going to sell mine. This is so much better! The freedom it provides to create and design is truly amazing. However, I will say that if you truly want to use all of the features you can't be afraid of a computer or computer graphic design.

Here is the latest card I created. The trees I designed myself in the computer program and the Silhouette cut them out. Plus I was able to choose from a lot of the really cute fonts that I bought a long time ago from DJ Inkers. Woohoo! Now all I need is more time and an endless supply of cash to truly play! Good thing I am going to start babysitting a friend's child one day a week. (Yeah, I know. One more thing for me to do.) Just kidding. Knowing me, that money will go straight to savings or paying a little more extra on some bills. If I would just truly clean out and organize my craft room, I would be surprised with what I already have.

WANTED: Writing Muse

I am having complete writer's block. Part of my faculty duties are that each week I participate in the discussions by responding at least once to each student. This is great because it allows me to make sure that I meet my facilitation requirements, and I am able to find some really great information to share.

It is not great because this week the conversation is DEAD! How many times can students repeat the same thing over and over? How can you seriously respond and keep the conversation moving forward?

I miss the "heated" debates like we have had in the past couple of weeks in regards to online dating and reproductive health and safety. However, there are only so many times you can read or say "smoking is bad", "be healthy", etc. (Sigh)

I could really use a writing muse right about now. I have 7 posts to do in one class and 6 in another all by the end of today. (Only because I don't want a lot to do this weekend.)

Oh well.

Revelation?

Ever have one of those moments when all of a sudden you get a "feeling". A feeling like someone is saying "Hang on to your bloomers, girl. It's going to be a bumpy ride!" Lately, I have been getting that feeling, which immediately starts me to reflect on various aspects of my life and what potential drama could be coming my way. Believe me . . . there is PLENTY! Just the upcoming holiday season alone is enough to send my anxiety level through the roof. (6 more payments, 6 more payments, 6 more payments)

Don't know exactly what the future holds, but "hang on to your bloomers. It's going to be an "interesting" ride."

P.S. Jay and Teen . . .Sssssshhhhhhhhhh!!!

Operation: Grass Is Greener

Proof that we really did plant grass and have a working sprinkler system, at least in the backyard.

My Mad Homemaking Skills . . . Jealous?

Just call me "Chef Boydardee." (Yes, the pun is intended. LOL I crack myself up.)

From left to right: Peach Jam (2 rows), Quartered Peaches (2 rows), Applesauce

The cool thing is that they are either sugar-free or low sugar. Yep, I'm cool like that.

When Among Rednecks, Dress Like One

Today I decided to be productive. I got up early in the morning and completed my school work and then reviewed the sales ads that came out today for this week's grocery store deals and decided to head to the store to buy a few good deal items before the Pinching Your Pennies ladies come in droves to clean everyone out. So after Little Man ate and I got him dressed, I decided to get dressed myself wearing my new much smaller sized jeans. I tore off all the tags and put them and they fit perfectly.

I was so productive! I went to the store. Bought the items I needed (spent $23, saved $31) and came home. I then took over left over treats from our Mutual activity last night to the neighbors and took Little Man for a walk up and down our street, waving at all of the kids going to school.

When I got home, I reached to brush something off my leg to notice the sticker that goes along the side of the leg announcing the size of jeans I was wearing and also found the one just underneath the back pocket as well. AAAGGGHHH!! I have worn these stickered jeans to the store, up and down our street, and to several neighbors' homes.

Oh, yeah! I was truly styling!

Happy Halloween from Little Man!

The Little Man decided that since he can't "party" with his grandparents in person on Halloween, he would find a way to party with them virtually. Love you Grandma, Grandpa, Oma, and Papa Doc!

Personalize funny videos and birthday eCards at JibJab!

What A Wonderful World

As I am sitting in the basement working on school stuff, I can't help but smile as I hear Little Man and my husband giggling together. What wonderful background "music" to hear as I grind away at grading homework and fufilling my obligations of posting work.