Why I Became a Therapist

I have been asked numerous times over the last couple of years as to why in the world I would become a therapist. While there are many reasons why, there is one main reason.

For whatever reason, my family moved A LOT when I was growing. No, we were not in the military. It just was what it was. Consequently, we were constantly having to make new friends and getting use to a new situation every couple of years. For someone like me who struggles with doing this anyway in the best of circumstances, it was actually torturous to have to do this so often. I know that I probably didn't handle some of these situations the best and remember all too well that at at least one new school I hid in the bathroom my first week during lunch rather then try and meet new people. However, there were times it was justified.

I was bullied in junior high and high school. No, not physically, but definitely verbally. I have not and probably never will forget walking into a math class to have the entire class chanting and banging their fists on their desks, "No AIDS in public school" (This was a nickname that a boy in my Sunday School class had given me. Nice, eh?) until the teacher came running into the classroom from the Principal's office. This was just one of many such cases.

And while I know that these were just kids, they were scary, sad, lonely, and frustrating times that have impacted me for a lifetime. I also know that for many of them if I were to ask them about it, they either would deny or truly wouldn't remember what happened. For them, it was not a life-altering moment. It was just another day. However, I hope that both they and I have moved forward in such a way that we not only do not repeat the behavior, but avoid passing it on to our own children or those we work with. No one deserves to be bullied, ABSOLUTELY NOBODY!

Thanks to a Patriarchal blessing and other wonderful people, moments, and learning I have tried to turn my times of difficulty into my strengths and hopefully help others. Hence, I became a child therapist to not only help those who are bullied, but do bully. In fact, interestingly enough, I really enjoy the "tough" kids the best. I have learned so much from them and have learned that often they are experiencing a lot of pain themselves and therefore, look for the "dog" to kick.

Some day I am hoping to finish the book that I have started and worked on and off regarding the great paradigm shift that can occur when we take the time to actually get to know another person before judging them. We may just find out that there is a reason why they are the way they are. (Not 100% fool-proof, but can happen more often than not). Just like in my senior year when one of my "bullies" wrote a poem about me in our writing class that said something to the effect that I was someone people wanted to get to know better, but they were afraid to due to the walls that I had built up. It took everything I had to not yell at her and tell her how mean she had been (i.e. Starting a rumor about me being pregnant because she thought it was funny since she knew I hadn't even kissed a boy at that point.) For me, I was incensed by her gestures and this stupid poem. What did she expect for a reaction? However looking back, I know that she probably didn't remember what she had done and truly could not understand why I did not want to be her friend.

As I watch the various news reports about bullying and the kids who have committed suicide over it, I have to say I am not surprised. The extent of bullying is soooooooooo much more than what I ever experienced. Kids today cannot get away from it by going home after school. It follows them online, their phones, etc. Plus people tend to say much meaner things when they do not have to face the person. (You wouldn't believe some of the things my fellow faculty members report that students say to them in emails and posts in the classroom.)

I loved a recent news story that encouraged parents to talk to their kids, not only to see if they are being bullied but to see if THEY are the bully. You just never know. While you would think it would be inherent, the concept of the Golden Rule is not taught as much in the home as it used to be.

Bottom line, this is why I became a therapist. I wanted to help others to learn from my experiences, either as a way to survive or a way not to do things. Also, I enjoy learning about people. They are fascinating creatures. Their stories of survival and overcoming the odds can be truly inspiring. You just never know what a listening ear can do for them and for you.