Some events have occurred lately that have cause me to reflect on my life: where it has been, where I am now and where I want it to go in the future. The one thing that seems to be the common theme is that my life in no way has gone the way I have planned it out at any point. I've gone from the little girl who lived for dancing and singing, dreaming of the day to dance on point and singing on a stage. Then a period of full dedication to religion, including working at church head quarters and deciding to go on a mission. To a person discovering and fully immersing herself into the criminal justice system and finding a passion for discovering what creates a person and brings them to the point that they are in their life. And now, here I am a full-time homemaker and mother to three little kids, playing with play dough, singing Itsy-Bitsy Spider, and making homemade bread and macaroni and cheese. Yet, I recently got my Enhanced Concealed Weapon Permit. I've gone from being a goal oriented, long list maker/to do list cross offer, to a person who is THRILLED when I have been able to take a shower, shave my legs, and put on clean clothes before noon.
I don't fit a mold or a pattern. I am a true conundrum as to who I am or what I will be doing next. The only thing I know for sure that as soon as I make solid plans or goals as to what is coming next, that is when my life becomes seriously topsy-turvy and ends up going in a totally opposite direction. I have a gut feeling that one of those moments is about to head my way again. I don't know how or why. It's just a feeling . . . . . .
What I do know is this: I have had some AMAZING experiences in my life and that if you did not know me or had not been a part of my life for at least the last twenty years, you would never believe me if I told you all the things I have done or experienced. Things such as going to President Hinckley's office and meeting all the twelve apostles to working with the FBI, ATF, Las Vegas Metro's SWAT team and gang task force. Not to mention when learning about mental health diagnostics actually seeing them in full play though my work, including schizophrenia and true sociopaths. In fact in the past year in our new neighborhood, I have been very careful what I have/have not shared in regards to my path. Very few people take it in stride and don't get weirded out or concerned with me analyzing them or think I am exaggerating when I tell them of my adventures. It's not what I currently portray.
I still feel like there is another path(s) out there for me and that my learning curve is far from over. Guess we will see.
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