As I sit here and wait for the side effects of Femara to hit again (and I got to take a double dose today - yippity,skippity), I am trying to remember to be grateful. Grateful that there is technology today that gives me a possiblity for having a child of my own. There were times that that would not happen.
Yesterday SIX women in our ward announced their pregnancies! What are they drinking and where do I get some? I was thankful to be in Young Women's and not have to hear all of the gushing, ooing, and awing.
At this point, I am just trying really hard to not be bitter and angry. If you could read my second Patriarchal Blessing, you would have a better understanding why this is happening. It's just is not a fun "in the meantime" moment. And no offense, but I get really tired of people saying "I understand" when they all have children of their own and have never had to do any type of fertility treatments. Ummmm . . . sorry, you don't. But I now do, and someday there will be someone in my life going through the same steps, dealing with the same feelings, and also feeling very much alone and that is when I can step in and say "I understand" and truly mean it. For that, I am grateful.
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4 comments:
Your efforts are in my prayers and your patience amazes me, as you always do. Keep strong until the Lord's timing coincides with your own! Love ya! Give yourself a hug from me... and YW's is a great place to be.
Tina, I just love and think the world of you! You always one of my strongest supporters and I don't know what I would do without you.
I'm sorry for your struggles. I don't know what you're going through but I hope in the end it will be worth it all. I sometimes don't like relief society either but I've enjoyed it more in the ward we're in now than I ever have before.
Thanks, Em! I have to keep reminding myself that just going through the process is worth it. It allows me to have true empathy for those who have to through it. I truly did not understand until now.
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