Deep Thoughts

Both boys are safely tucked away in bed and hopefully, sleeping their colds a little further away. Consequently, the house is quiet and has given me a chance to think and reflect. (Sometimes that can be scary.) However, tonight has been one of those nights that I couldn't help but to think back on my life and all of the things I have done, experienced, and all of the things I hope I can still do.

In the play "My Turn On Earth", there is a scene where the characters are in the pre-existence , getting ready to come to earth. As a part of their preparation, they look at a type of movie as to what type of lessons they are going to learn while on earth. One character even asks if she can take one lesson by "home study" because the topic looks too hard to deal with. This always made me chuckle whenever I watched it. However, I can't help but wonder if there were not things that we knew that we were going to have to deal with on this earth and thought, "Oh, that doesn't look that bad." Never realizing the extent of how hard it may truly be since we were looking at it from an innocent child's eyes without any real concept of pain, frustration, or sorrow.

We all have things that we never hope to deal with because we fear that may be are breaking point. Yet we know others who have had to deal with that "feared" situation and have powered through it in some way. And then there are other occasions when we have faced something and thought, "I can't do this'" and yet somehow we did and can look back on it and admire our strength that we have gained.

Lately a song that I have found listening to over and over is one by Michael McLean called "One of the Lucky Ones." This past Sunday on a local radio program they were talking about the hardships the pioneers endured with winter. (I guess due to a recent change in the weather to cold.) Plus my husband has been watching a lot of MASH re-runs with one episode being about a family that has to consistently move due to shelling. Yet, here I sit in my warm home with plenty of food to eat. My life is not in constant danger or threat. I am able to buy things for my family's needs. Trials that I am not sure I could handle.

Is my life perfect? Definitely not! In fact the whole situation with Jim's work is truly taking a toll on me both physically and emotionally. However, maybe I chose this as something I could bear. In fact, compared to some of the other burdens I could be facing. It doesn't seem too insurmountable. Well, at least not right now. Not in this moment. Ask me tomorrow.