Hello,my name is . . . . .

Why hello, size 8 jeans! 

Yep, I have FINALLY hit the single digits and I don't even have to pour myself into them or suck in as I zip and pray.  It's only been, ummmmmm, 15+ years since I saw this size.  I know, I know that's an awfully long time, but I have a good excuse.  Really!

What is it, you ask?  I'm a food addict.  There, I said it.  It's out in the open.  I didn't become that way overnight.  In fact it was a build up of a lifetime of bad habits that put me in the chunky monkey category. 

You see, in my surroundings, food is a BIG factor.  If you think about it, food takes a major precedence in almost every facet of life.  You got a new job?  Great, here's some cake.  You feel sick? Here's some homemade bread that you can slather with butter.  You broke up with your boyfriend? You "need" a fudge sundae.  Roadtrip!! - Stock up on M&Ms, chips, cookies, and Diet Coke.  You are new to the neighborhood?  Here's a plate of cookies. ------See what I mean?  It's everywhere and the idea that you "need" it or "deserve" it is constantly pounded into your head. 

Then you add in the complication that you are Insulin Resistant and have been your whole life without knowing it and can't process any of this sugar correctly so it turns straight to fat and you have yourself an equation of DISASTER!  I literally was eating myself into an early grave, and I needed to change that FAST!

It's not been easy to not only admit this but to take drastic measures such as I just don't have the "crap" in my house.  I can't.  I literally can't stop myself until it is gone and the whole time I am eating it telling myself how stupid it is that I am eating it.  Warped think, don't you agree?  In fact, I am so conditioned anymore that you would die if you saw the amount of candy and junk that I have thrown away.  Not to mention, I let my kids have one piece of candy for two days after an event such as Christmas or Halloween and then it gets thrown out or given away. And when I say thrown out, I mean out in the large garbage can that goes to the curb on trash day or under so much gross disgusting nastiness that there is no way I would even touch it.  Yep, that's how bad my addiction is.

I am still working on what I can do to "reward" or comfort myself that is quick, easy, and healthy.  There are not a lot of alternatives when you have three little crazy monkeys that rarely give you a moments peace, but I'll figure out something eventually.  The one thing I can say is that Truvia/stevia is my new best friend and I have a peanut butter cookie recipe that uses no flour or sugar that would knock your socks off.  Really!  They are sooooo good and eating just one is usually enough to get me through the really bad craving.  Or there is a "Sweet and Crunchy Nuts" recipe that I resort to as well.  In fact that is usually what you will find me doing on Saturday mornings is fixing my stash for the week. (Which I have to double or sometimes even triple because my husband gets into them as well - they are THAT good.)

And so the journey continues . . . . . . .