Something to Think About

Ever have one of those days at church where the lesson or a talk gave you something to think about?

Yesterday, the lesson was regarding setting an example for your children and spouse. During the discussion, someone brought up her husband's experience at our local psychiatric hospital in the adolescent unit. His experience has been that those parents who were more involved and not only wanted change for the children, but were also open to change within themselves, had a much higher success rate with their children, then those who didn't. Since the person teaching knew of my experience and training, she asked me if I had seen the same thing. To which I replied that I 100% did. In fact, it (unfortunately) was the exception rather than the rule when a parent would ask for help, including change within themselves. Usually it was a case of dropping off their kid for "free" babysitting for an hour and do not ask for them to change anything, because it couldn't possibly be them. It had to be their child that was the total problem.

Another person added that when she was struggling with her teenage son she sought the advice of a well-known psychologist. She said that in the course of their discussion he interrupted her three times stating that she needed to "fix (yourself)." She admitted that at first she was incensed by such statements, but after some thinking and taking a long hard look at herself, she realized he was right. She needed to "fix herself."

Let's face it. Parenting is HARD and is not an exact science in any way shape or form. There are thousands of thousands of book on how to do it right. However, in the end, it all comes down to how solid of a foundation are you coming from to be able to face the challenges ahead. If you aren't your best self, how can you help mold another to be their best self? This doesn't mean perfection every moment of every day. Just that strong, solid inner core that helps you to be at peace with who you are and gives you the humility to admit your shortcomings and willingness to grow and make the appropriate changes.

Just something to think about.